#5: Aiuto.

Today is my first day alone in Camogli. Bloody marvellous. 

G is currently obsessed with Hide and Seek and there’s only so many places to hide in one apartment. Hide and Seek in Italian is called ‘narscondino’, which G has turned into a little chant, but she’s also taken to inputting it into a google translate app, so every now and then, there emerges from the silence an automated ‘let - us- play - hide- and - seek’.  Those six words strike a fear in me like no others. 

So, since I have until 6pm by myself, I thought I’d find my bearings and take myself on a little tour of Camogli. After getting G ready (she changes her pyjama bottoms) and preparing breakfast (I eat a banana, G refuses to eat anything but a triangle of brie) I decide to take in some of the sights. Maybe walk up to San Rocco and over to Punta Chippa. Maybe I’d take myself off for some lunch and practice my Italian on the locals. I’d already met the focaccia man and he seemed nice enough. 

The reality sees me flapping about the hills much like Jane Eyre in the scene where she runs away from Rochester, but with less rain and more sweating, totally lost and without signal, with only some kindly German tourists to follow. 

By the time I get into town for lunch, everything is closed and the Focacceria doesn't open again until 3.30pm. I end up in a cafe, run by a woman who looks very unapproachable but who, on reflection, probably only has bad bitch face like me, totally loosing my nerve, pointing at the nearest piece of focaccia and rushing out like someone very important who has lots to do and more to worry about than where her next hiding place should be. 

Am now extremely annoyed with self so spend a good twenty minutes looking for someone vulnerable and alone i.e. old person to practice my Italian on but, alas, they all have friends, so I retreat back to the house, only this time making sure to say ciao and wave to all passers-by, much like I imagine the Queen would do.