So, the Italians have broken up for Summer and gone are my leisurely mornings and afternoons alone.
This is precisely why I'm off on a two week jaunt across Lombardy and the Veneto with my very best, very camp friend (we will see how this pans out in fairly conservative, fairly alpha- male dominated town).
My final morning in Camogli went something like this:
G decided to teach me how to use a plunger, which involved her plunging baths and sinks shouting 'puzza (bad smell) go down, puzza go down' at plunger, me watching on from nearby stool and us having to then evacuate all rooms for fear of passing out from stench.
We then spent a lot of time watching 'Me contro Te', two teenage vloggers whose sole mission is obviously to make the lives of anybody who has to look after small children total hell. Thanks to this poisonous pair, who encourage children to embark on hefty experiments at home, we have had to start an ongoing 'slime project', which involves regularly emptying contents of all bathroom cabinets into bowls of eggs and flour and freezing. Other highlights have included soaking a boiled egg in vinegar for three days to form an eggyolk-come-jelly ball, and making many, many bottles of Nutella body wash, which I have since had to start throwing down plug hole as I am starting to smell like a crepe.
G invited some fellow ten year olds over to 'practice experiments with' which, provided a welcome respite for me, but saw the children mixing horrific substances (honey, flour, anchovies and such like) together and pouring it down their throats in what is apparently called a 'smoothie challenege'.
After packing them off to their mothers I proceeded to watch G practice 'Merrily We Roll Along' on the recorder for an hour.
Am now en-route to pick up friend from airport, with what I can only assume is a bout of tinnitus.